When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

There’s a moment when someone wounds you so deeply that even hearing the word forgive feels offensive. Maybe it was betrayal from someone you trusted, lies that broke your heart, or abuse that left invisible scars. You tell yourself, I could never forgive that. And in that moment, you’re right — you can’t. I remember sitting in church one Sunday, clutching the seat in front of me because the pastor said, “Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It’s freedom.” I wanted to walk out. I was angry, and honestly, I felt justified. The hurt was real, and forgiving felt like letting that person win. But here’s the truth that found me in that tension: Jesus didn’t forgive me because I deserved it. He forgave because His love was stronger than my sin. When He hung on that cross, He whispered forgiveness over the very ones who nailed Him there. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) Forgiving the unforgivable isn’t saying what they did was okay. It’s saying, I refuse to let it control me anymore. It’s releasing your right to revenge and handing the gavel back to God. It’s believing that the same grace that covered your sin is big enough to cover theirs too. When I finally chose forgiveness, nothing felt different at first. But over time, something shifted. The bitterness started losing its grip. Peace began to settle in. It wasn’t instant, but it was holy. If you’re carrying that kind of pain today, you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt. But you also don’t have to stay chained to it. Bring it to Jesus. Let Him teach you what forgiveness looks like one prayer at a time. You’re not letting them off the hook. You’re letting God hold the hook.